Confident. Clear. Decisive. Firm. Call it what you want, but a solid foundation is a critical ingredient if you are looking for stability.
I came across a song a few months back while I was deep into a Spotify rabbit hole that had the lyric “heavy stones fear no weather” and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. It’s such a profound statement. The more I’ve pondered over it, the more application I’ve been able to extract. If you are floating in the ocean on a boat, a storm is terrifying. But if you were within the walls of a fortress, that same storm would probably be a great lullaby.
From a nature perspective, solid footing makes a walk through the woods peaceful. Add a steep grade and some loose rocks and you have potential for some severe consequences if you slip. This is stressful.
From a structural integrity point of view, anything that is being constructed needs to withstand the elements it will face and should be designed to do so. Sandcastles are awesome, but they rarely make it very long when a wave washes up. Even if it’s made a little further up on the shore, eventually the repetition of the waves will slowly erode the base, and it will fall. Foundation as well as materials of construction are to be considered when building a solid dwelling place.
Financially, a good nest egg is wise. Having an emergency fund along with minimal to no debt is a gateway to avoiding panic when life happens, and the unexpected expense arrives. Living paycheck to paycheck or over extended is guaranteed to create instability in any household. I speak with great authority on this last part. Anything unexpected, I mean ANYTHING, becomes a major issue when the money isn’t there. Thankfully, I have begun moving away from that way of living.
Professionally, when we question our value or feel our contributions are fruitless, motivation and drive begin to weaken, and we find ourselves needing more strength just to get up in the morning and show up rather than applying that energy to our productivity. When the question enters your mind of “Why am I even here?”, then the eroding sandcastle analogy has already begun. Shortly after that question comes the snowball of concern over the options, risk of change, fear of the unknown, and each of those result in feeling trapped and paralyzed. At this point, the castle topples.
Relationships apply as well. We have all had that friendship or romantic relationship that is strained when one or both parties aren’t sold on how committed the other person is. The uncertainty causes us to feel vulnerable, because at any moment we could get hurt. The constant worry that we’re not making them happy or that we’re growing distant is enough to erode any relationship because when doubt enters the mix and isn’t delt with, that vine creeps into every crevasse and then becomes all we can see.
Think about it in terms of the difficulties life throws our way. If we feel lost or unstable in one or more of the big buckets that I listed above, it’s just like being out on a boat in the ocean with a raging storm approaching. The more out of control we feel, the bigger the waves seem to be. It’s overwhelming and we would give anything just get back onto solid ground.
So, the big question is – How do we find stability in an increasingly unstable world? I certainly do not have all of the answers to that question since I’m in the process of seeking that for myself, but I can tell you what has worked for me so far.
Focusing on one thing at a time. We are not superhumans and we have limitations. I forget this often. Worrying about everything all at once is about as effective as trying to eat an elephant. We have to triage our situation and focus on what we can control and then get hyper focused on solving the problems that we can. Then comes the sacrifice. Sometimes we have to give up things we want to accomplish the bigger goal. This may not be permanent, but it will be required for at least a season.
Going back to the point about footing. As we begin moving forward in unstable circumstances, things slow down to a halt until we get our foot set on that first stone that doesn’t rock when we put our weight on it. Then, once we have confidence that it will hold, we search for the next stone. It takes time and we sacrifice the extra minutes it takes to navigate the terrain, but eventually, it pays off and we make it through unscathed and can get back up to speed with a little more confidence having just conquered a challenge. Slowing down, taking one step at a time, and gaining confidence and momentum are how we naturally approach sketchy footing, so why wouldn’t we apply that same response to the junk that life throws at us?
The whole concept of gaining confidence is what draws me back to the lyric. The more solidified I become in my life, especially in my head and in my heart, the more strength I will have to weather any storm that tests my integrity. I fear less. I’m able to make sound decisions. I am confident that I can get over the hurdle in front of me. The good news is that once we start to firm up one aspect, it tends to bleed over into other areas as well. The trick is pushing through and letting physics do its thing.
-Mitty