“It didn’t feel like we had made much progress until we rounded the last switchback and got a glimpse of the mountainside we just scaled.”
– Mitty’s Hiking Journal, ‘19 AT – Section Hike – Day 2
Life feels like that often. We are typically entrenched in the daily tasks that demand our full attention and the little mouths that demand to be fed, so much so that we don’t realize the progress that is happening around us. For some, it’s a daily struggle to get to work on time, complete the project, make the sale, hit the target, secure the account – for others, it’s a struggle to provide, protect, and preserve the health of those in our care. Perhaps it’s not so much a single day event, but a journey over a period of time. An educational path towards a desired career, a financial goal that requires longer hours or more diligence, a health and fitness milestone you hope to achieve. A medical or mental health diagnosis for you or a family member that begins a long path to recovery. All of these things carry different levels of weight but equally plunge us into a state of “keep calm and push forward”.
I’ve experienced a few of those items listed above and with each and every one found myself fatigued and defeated – until I stopped and took a look around (or had someone make me do so for that matter). It wasn’t until those moments when I gained the perspective that I had actually accomplished something significant and worth celebrating.
I can speak with authority here because I am the OG Negative Nancy. Nice to meet you. We are so quick to jump to the dark side, play the victim, or have a “poor me” attitude about tough things. I did and still do so on an embarrassingly high frequency. STOP IT! Take a deep breath, look up from the dirt cloud you’re kicking up, and look at where you came from. Really look. Log all of the little hurdles you jumped to get where you are currently standing. Count all the steps it took to get you there. It will amaze you if you are able to give yourself some credit for that hard work that went into that.
I’ve been struggling with this. A lot. I was my own worst critic and I let myself lose sight of the forest for the trees often. We all need to learn the meaning of grace and what it means to show that to others, but especially to ourselves. It’s ok to have high standards or great expectations. It’s ok to be out there grinding away towards a goal. But it is also ok to give your best and be alright with the result, even if you look up and it’s not where you want to be.
I want to make sure there is no misunderstanding here. I am not playing into this false narrative that everybody is a winner, and we all deserve a trophy for showing up. Sometimes we lose. That doesn’t make us a loser. My point is that there are times when we fight hard for a season and come just short of gold but instead of celebrating all of the experience we gained or growth we’ve achieved, we throw it all out because it’s a different picture than the one we had painted in our mind. This mindset takes practice.
We are wired to grow. Physically, mentally, spiritually – we are designed to make progress. I think it’s easy for us to mistake that the journey to the finish line isn’t a big part of the race. Think about that for a minute…crossing the finish is just the result of all of the hard work it took to get there. Every step, every stride, every trip, every slip, and every fall got you to that point. In everything we do, we learn from our experience and make adjustments. Eventually, things get a little easier and we can take on a little more. We make adjustments. We realize that we’re doing ok. The bar isn’t so hard to lift, so we slide on another 5-10 lbs. That is the growth I’m describing.
The challenges we face either make us or break us. But even in the broken state, we learn our limits, pick up a tool we didn’t know we needed, or we rebuild with the memory of how not to do something. This is great, but what about when you’re smack dab in the middle of the trial, you feel like you’re drowning, and you don’t know where to go next? Stop. Take a deep breath. Take another one. Look back at what you have navigated to get you to the point where you stand.
You are stronger than you’re giving yourself credit for. Eventually, we all need to find a place to rest and take a minute to look back from a higher perspective. Reflecting on the steps we’ve taken and the progress we’ve made. So what if the journey there wasn’t pretty, the view from the top sure is nice.
-Mitty